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Day 1 among the barbarians...

Dear blog,
I find myself alone among a small band of fierce, tiny warriors. They number only 2, but use a combination of high-pitched vocalizations. stealthy combat tactics, and trickery to achieve their goals. I've been forced to cook and clean for them, worship their monkey-god named George, and eat their primitive food they call "snack." My backup is days away. I will hold out as long as I can, but they have severe forms of torture with exotic names like "I want more chocolate milk," "can I watch a video on the computer," and "I want Mama."

In attempting to find a weakness to overcome them, I've discovered they can be put into a trance-like state using a combination of popsicles and reading them the collected works of their doctor who they call "Seuss." Though I doubt his medical credentials.

I am sleeping when I can, learning not to anger my captors, and planning rebellion only in the worst of circumstances. Escape seems unlikely. They allow me only 2 trips outdoors per day where the leader of them boards a yellow vehicle and again when he comes back. My hope is to conduct some minor research so that when reinforcements arrive in 3 days time we may force the tribe into submission using our size, superior intellect, and ability to go long periods of time without napping.

That is all for now. Wish me luck, friends! The littlest one is bold and insists I adorn her with colorful stickers. I haven't worked out what they signify. Perhaps some sort of power structure within the community? I will report back when I know more.