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Revenge of the SAHD

I was totally going to blog about being unmarried today and how the DOMA case at the Supreme Court may affect hetero couples...especially for tax purposes. Then I stumbled onto this: Why Stay At Home Dads Can Never Really Be Content.

Needless to say, it was intentionally written to get people worked up. And I'm fine with that.

It was also intentionally written by someone trying to counter the "Stay At Home Dads are awesome" counter-culture that has been slowly bubbling to the surface. I'm fine with that, too. It was written by at least a part-time SAHD.

Not everybody has to love every waking minute of being at home with the kids. I'd fully expect a Stay At Home Mom to have her frustrations. You're totally allowed to hate every minute of it, as a matter of fact. Heck, I'm even probably ok with you hating the cultural forces SAHDs like me are putting into the universe by insisting on our equality in the home. If your idea of maleness is tied to work and traditional society contributions, my lack of hunting is probably bringing you down. (Though I do enjoy grilling a piece of meat.)

What I do have a problem with is that idea that your "contribution" is somehow greater than my contribution. Actually, no offense Mr. Fell, but I actually think my contribution may be greater. But let's not get into a pissing contest. I realize there are other things at play here that you only subconsciously have control over...the strangely American idea that one's job defines who one is. "What do you do?" is a chief topic of smalltalk here and is not in other cultures.

And you labor under the idea that SAHDs don't have other pursuits. Besides jobs, I mean. "You need a project that contributes to society, something that allows you in some small way to be a provider beyond parent and homemaker." Umm. I'm currently in training for a triathlon and plan to race 140.6 miles at Ironman next year. I've finished 5 marathons. I roast my own coffee. I make my own salsa. I have occasional coffees with one of the Trustees in my community to talk about local governance. 

Or, maybe, what I'm really saying is that you aren't interesting? And shallow? 

But I'm fine with that. You don't have to like me either. And fighting for the rights and against outdated perceptions of manhood doesn't mean all doubters will be won over. 

You stick to fitness writing. The rest of us will stick to parenting...trying to turn our children into more interesting and less shallow people than yourself. Cool? Sounds good. 

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