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Leaving mom alone

Kelly asked me this morning, "what if there are things I don't know?!" 

Last month, around her birthday, she had to travel for work. It really wasn't too bad for me because I called in reinforcements (my mom) and she's doing the same (her mom). 

I'm leaving in a week to go home to Ohio for a few days. Basically, just a long weekend to do some cleaning because I'm 32 years old and still have crap in the apartment I grew up in. And a storage locker. But, let's be honest, my mom also needs some tech help--sorry, Mom, I know you read this now. You're not the only one who can't figure out how to get photos off your digital camera! 

The cold, hard truth is a piece is still missing. From the routine. From the sphere of comfort and knowing where things go and what comes next. And dog walking is always a tricky issue when you're alone with two kids. Really, our solution has been to get the dog on a schedule where the full walks are before and after work. There's always the fenced side yard. 

The biggest issue, perhaps, is that I'm the primary caregiver. Naps and feedings and bedtimes go a little smoother with me because that's what the kids are used to. The rhythm of the day is long chunks with dad followed by mama coming home for fun. The shoe is on the other foot now. 

Kelly can handle it--mostly because she can handle anything and that's why I love her. They have zoo trip planned and having the other grandma around will be great--she hasn't seen Leda since the NICU! 

I haven't flown in a few years. I think maybe when my son was brand new and it had been awhile before that. So I'm prepared for my ritual feel-up by the TSA. It'll be an adventure for everyone.

Not the least of it me being away from my kids for the first time. It's a rare evening you don't find me at 7pm sitting in the puffy chair in the living room turning the lights out with Cole in my lap. Then sticking Leda in her sleep sack about an hour later and finding the right position for her to want to close her eyes. It's going to be strange not hearing the squeals. Hard as it may be to believe, they can be comforting to parents. (I'll be doing a post someday on exactly which cries we find annoying...big difference between whines and the cute grunty/goaty noises ours make.) 

Silence is golden, but I'm not sure who is going to be missing the other more--me, in a quiet house, or them. 

My little bit of curious will be to see what happens when I get back...I suspect it's a little like the dog after you've been away. Barks of joy for having you home...followed by the cold shoulder for having left in the first place. 


  1. I left Evan for a weekend. He was so mad at me when I returned. He was cold and distant for about an hour. So be prepared that that is a possibility.


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