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Poop

There is nothing that divides parents from non-parents quite like this topic. I can remember a time when I'd go entire days--weeks or months even--without discussing anyone's bathroom habits. Being a parent, however, makes these conversations not only a daily occurrence but a part of casual coming-home-from-work conversation.

How was your day? Oh, fine. Let me give you the nap/bottle/diaper rundown to catch you up. (I'll let you, dear reader, fill in the details mentally.)

It seems sometimes all I ever do is discuss this topic. Between a dog with a delicately-balanced diet and two kids, we've certainly come up with our own lexicon. What's that saying about Eskimos having one hundred words for "snow?"

Parents, you know what I mean. Childless, you find this disgusting. To even imagine you could get to the point where you're discussing the frequency, amount, texture, smell, affect of diet on, or proposed changes to achieve better outcomes...I'll stop there.

The strange thing is that this is often played up as the worst part of parenting. Not even close! Don't get me wrong, I won't step up and volunteer very often. But it actually can be the lesser-of-evils alternative in some Choice A or Choice B parenting chore divides. It slowly becomes part of daily life. Like doing the dishes, taking out the trash, or paying bills. You don't want to, per se. But you stop thinking about it. It exists and that's that.

Spitting up I actually find worse. Not in substance but for the annoying quality of having to go change your outfit AND theirs. Meal times I'm not one for playing and tend to be all business when kids like to play with their food. Packing the diaper bag and trying to get out of the house is another pretty low point for me. Older kids who ask rude, demanding questions of adults is a growing pet peeve.

Diapers? Nah. Poop is actually one of the badges of honor. If you think that's one of the worst things life has to throw at you--I think you need to reconfigure your priorities.

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