I had already planned on my next blog entry being about how easy Cole has been to parent over the past year. But this weekend some comments in real life added to the theme.
We've long discussed privately how annoying we find certain types of well-meaning advice. (The ladies of a certain age who ask me where my son's hat is.) And we actually enjoy when friends commiserate about the little things that make you feel like a true parent. It usually comes from a spirit of togetherness. The ones that get to me, however, are the "wait til ____ happens" backwards-looking advice that aims to tell us that it only gets worse. "Oh, you think cranky is bad now, just wait til they get older." Like we must be having a hard time but be prepared for even worse.
The last year has been quite easy, thanks. Or, even better, why did you have kids if you find everything that came with it so appalling?
Cole is so easy, in fact, that we tease his little sister will be a demon on wheels simply to make up for how easy he is. Maybe not. Maybe we've just got this parenting thing under control. Maybe we have no clue what others go through and have not gotten--maybe will never--a true taste of uncontrolled mayhem that rips through the house like that guy from the insurance commercial.
My son tells us when it's time to parent. Always has and continues to. The only times of any difficulty whatsoever are tired/hungry. Other than that he is an agreeable, pleasant, happy, fun, clever, amusing, little guy who brightens my day.
Should I not say that? Is it bad form to say that so far parenting is easier than we thought? Kelly always says she doesn't want to put negative thoughts out in the world for fear they come true...but part of the reason we're having another so soon is that we've got a handle on the first one. The tantrums, the up in the night, the messes, the everything-you-own-is-sticky. It's actually fun.
Then again, we were prepared in case he came out not-so-adorable and he ended up being pretty cute, too. But this isn't about bragging. I'd love my kid no matter what. This is maybe about warning others that the package deal isn't for everybody. It *is* work. It leaves you exhausted. You have little time to yourself and must put all your energy into it. I look at it like what else am I going to do with my life that could be more rewarding?
But what I don't appreciate is the "it doesn't get easier" remarks. In reality, every day that goes by, being a dad gets better for me. He's more interesting now than he was when he was born. He's more fun to be with. We learn things together. He's less work now that he can feed himself and get where he wants to go without my help.
So maybe it's just my kid. And I'll just keep being ready for that day where it gets "worse." So far, we're doing just fine though.
We've long discussed privately how annoying we find certain types of well-meaning advice. (The ladies of a certain age who ask me where my son's hat is.) And we actually enjoy when friends commiserate about the little things that make you feel like a true parent. It usually comes from a spirit of togetherness. The ones that get to me, however, are the "wait til ____ happens" backwards-looking advice that aims to tell us that it only gets worse. "Oh, you think cranky is bad now, just wait til they get older." Like we must be having a hard time but be prepared for even worse.
The last year has been quite easy, thanks. Or, even better, why did you have kids if you find everything that came with it so appalling?
Cole is so easy, in fact, that we tease his little sister will be a demon on wheels simply to make up for how easy he is. Maybe not. Maybe we've just got this parenting thing under control. Maybe we have no clue what others go through and have not gotten--maybe will never--a true taste of uncontrolled mayhem that rips through the house like that guy from the insurance commercial.
My son tells us when it's time to parent. Always has and continues to. The only times of any difficulty whatsoever are tired/hungry. Other than that he is an agreeable, pleasant, happy, fun, clever, amusing, little guy who brightens my day.
Should I not say that? Is it bad form to say that so far parenting is easier than we thought? Kelly always says she doesn't want to put negative thoughts out in the world for fear they come true...but part of the reason we're having another so soon is that we've got a handle on the first one. The tantrums, the up in the night, the messes, the everything-you-own-is-sticky. It's actually fun.
Then again, we were prepared in case he came out not-so-adorable and he ended up being pretty cute, too. But this isn't about bragging. I'd love my kid no matter what. This is maybe about warning others that the package deal isn't for everybody. It *is* work. It leaves you exhausted. You have little time to yourself and must put all your energy into it. I look at it like what else am I going to do with my life that could be more rewarding?
But what I don't appreciate is the "it doesn't get easier" remarks. In reality, every day that goes by, being a dad gets better for me. He's more interesting now than he was when he was born. He's more fun to be with. We learn things together. He's less work now that he can feed himself and get where he wants to go without my help.
So maybe it's just my kid. And I'll just keep being ready for that day where it gets "worse." So far, we're doing just fine though.